their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize