Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize