So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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