idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
