you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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