Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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