what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
