do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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