is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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