He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize