Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
