I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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