i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She's the barista slut.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize