I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
