im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize