pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
