I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
