I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
