party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize