im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
