Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
