MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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