Sry I called you an 8
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
