no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
