Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
