sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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