We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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