I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize