u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Plan B is the new Plan A
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
