I just made out with a guy for $7.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
