I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
