it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
