I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
