The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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