when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ugly people sure do ruin things
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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