So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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