I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
