bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
