K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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