Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
