naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize