Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
