Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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