He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
