Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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