Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
