"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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