She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
