i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
