you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
