Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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