I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
