Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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