brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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