i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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