If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize