I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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